


Are You There?

by Mirob (DestielOfDoom)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst and Porn, Bottom Castiel, Cas has a tie because fuck you TPTB, Declarations Of Love, Demon Dean Winchester, Episode AU: s10e03 Soul Survivor, Episode Fix-it, Exhibitionism, Feelings, Hannah finds out, Hannah watches, Happy Ending, Idiots in Love, Light Angst, M/M, Mark of Cain, Porn with Feelings, S10e03 remake, Sam Knows, Sam always knows, Smart Sam Winchester, Top Dean, because I say so, porn with plot?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-20
Updated: 2015-06-26
Packaged: 2018-03-18 18:52:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3580200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DestielOfDoom/pseuds/Mirob
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This was inspired by <a href="http://gyazo.com/169de57d762a68847c59c54fddb58cc5">this Tumblr prompt</a>. If you look a bit harder, there should be some plot, but basically this is Castiel trying to watch out for Demon!Dean while Sam fetches more blood for the purification process, and Hannah tries to wait in the car. Only one out of three succeeds.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Castiel knew he was staring. He had been doing so for the last couple of minutes. Somewhere at the back of his head he knew he shouldn’t, but he couldn’t bring himself to stop. Not when he was right there, in front of him. His gaze was focused on none other than Dean Winchester. Seeing Dean, with eyes as black as coal, standing in that circle - protecting the world from his being - was not on the list of anticipated life-experiences. When Sam called and told him about the Dean-situation, he couldn’t believe what he heard at first. Then, as the realization crept up his mind, slowly clogging up his brain, it was already bad, but it was not until much later that he actually wrapped his head around what it meant. In fact, it took a powerful, angel-grace-infused embrace, before it dawned on him how far away Dean was. How Dean was not Dean anymore. The human he knew. The friend he had saved and who had saved him more times than either could remember. And the realization broke him. When he met Sam, he tried not to let it show. He tried to be strong for Sam and later for Dean but he had a nagging feeling that both men could see through his facade and read him better than he would like.

Despite it all he still agreed to look after Dean, while Sam went out to get more blood for the purification process. Sam had already done most of the work and pushed Dean further away from his current demon-path, and it gave them a glimpse of hope, the possibility that Dean would get better. Watching Dean was the least Castiel could do. He knew he had to keep him under lock-down until Sam returned. He needed to do it, for the sake of them all.

“You are staring, Feathers,” Dean stated with a self-assured smirk, dragging Castiel out of his line of thought. “Bet you like what you see.” He gestured in the general direction of his body, and flexed the muscles in his arms for good measure, smiling wide at Castiel.

Dean was not completely wrong. Castiel did like what he was seeing but only to some extent. Of course, his body was as pleasing as ever, and he preferred seeing Dean on lock-down within the demon trap, if it meant he wasn’t outside, doing things he would regret later. But he did not like the darkness eating Dean’s bright soul away, making him an aggressive, bragging monster. Castiel had been silent through the last ten minutes of sassy remarks from Dean, but he feared the silent-treatment wouldn’t work out in the end. Demon Dean was a completely different challenge, sometimes too much Dean to cope with, sometimes too little to recognize. Nevertheless, he continued to watch Dean intently. After all, he had promised Sam not to leave Dean and he planned on keeping his word.

“Yeah yeah, ignoring me until Sammy gets back, are we? Dean spat, breaking his line of thought for a second time. “You know, Hot Wings, you’ve become too human to hide anything from me, and I…” He returned Castiel’s stare and his eyes flashed from green to black “have become too demonic.”

Castiel tried to keep up his stoic stare, but his eyes failed him, flickering to the side for a split-second while the muscles in his jaw moved. He couldn’t fool anyone; he was affected by Dean’s words and behaviour. Castiel’s tiny show of weakness was enough for Dean. He smirked again, aware that he had the upper hand.  
“You know, Feather Bomb, it does not have to be like this. Forget Sammy and your righteous mission to save me – just for a bit. You could let yourself have some fun in your pitiful remnant of a life, just for a little while. I am still Dean.” 

His eyes went back to the familiar green, and he stepped closer to the edge of the circle, keeping Castiel’s gaze.

“The old Dean loved you, you know?… you must have realized that. And I am sure you have been wondering why you never had any of this hot, piece of ass. Well, the key to the answer is ‘barriers’. The old me put up barriers whenever he could, denying himself almost every shred of joy life offered him... It is sad, really.” 

Dean stepped to the inner limits of the circle and looked intently at the shaken Castiel.  
“I am still Dean, Cas. You know I am not possessed, I am just influenced by the Mark of Cain.” 

At that moment, Dean sounded so much like his old self that Castiel felt on the verge of breakdown, and had to use all of his willpower to keep himself upright. 

Dean continued unaffected: “But the Mark of Cain also comes with certain…benefits. You could call it ‘a lack of reticence’…“ 

He flashed Castiel a grin and ran a hand slowly down his black, tight-hugging t-shirt. Castiel’s eyes followed the movement and swallowed nervously. He couldn’t lock away the feelings – the needs - he had for Dean – emotionally as well as physically – and Dean urged them on. He had to leave. If he didn’t, he would either collapse or give in – neither was a solution to anything.

“Clearly, you still yearn for ‘Dean’ and who am I to deny us a little fun,” Dean said merrily, unaware of the state Castiel was in.  
“What’ you say, Chuckles? Up for a little screwing around?” 

To emphasize his words, Dean seized the sleeve of his dark-red shirt, and pulled it off in a manner as if it had offended him.

Castiel followed Dean’s movements and knew in that instant that he had to get away. He was weaker than he had hoped, quickly making up his mind and turning around. As Castiel walked towards the door he could hear a disappointed sigh behind him, but he increased his pace escaping to the hall. No longer in Dean’s line of sight, he collapsed right outside the door, feeling as lost and lonely as never before. Dean had him in the palm of his hand, and he had nothing to even out the lack of balance. He closed his eyes, trying to avoid all the bitter thoughts that tumbled in. He wished for Sam to hurry up and be back soon, so they could fix Dean and he could continue his mission with Hannah. He was so unbearably tired and he knew he would do everything he could to keep Dean safe, even if it meant his own life.


	2. Chapter 2

Exactly ten minutes later, Castiel heard noises from the dungeon and the demon trap that retained Dean. He had no idea about what he was up to but he didn’t want to risk escape - not another one. Frustrations ran in Castiel’s veins but he knew he had to check on him despite all his senses urging him to do the exact opposite. When Castiel finally commended himself to enter the dungeon, he was equally stunned and unsurprised by the sight that met him, though not at all prepared to handle it.

Dean was standing in the middle of the circle, naked – gloriously naked - his clothes scattered all over the demon trap. His green eyes locked intently with Castiel’s, while he stroked himself slowly and shamelessly. Castiel stood frozen, fighting conflicting feelings and desires. As he was taking in the sight before him he slowly realized how he was without a game plan. Dean had the upper hand yet again and he knew it.

And then Dean blinked downright seductively at Castiel and kept his pace.  
“So, you didn’t want to miss the show after all,” he huffed with a proud smile, like he had just won some sort of championship “This is all for you C a s t i e l, this is your doing.” He stressed his words with an extra slow stroke, but it was the way he growled out Castiel’s name that was his undoing. This was a battle and Castiel was not going to win it.

“What’s the matter, Featherass? Did you forget how to move that sweet vessel of yours? You know, I would love to help, but as you can see, I am a bit busy at the moment.”

Castiel swallowed nervously and took a step forward. He knew he was senseless, and what he was about to do was hundred different versions of wrong. However, he was also weak. Castiel knew it and he could do nothing about it. It was too late. The man in front of him was his eternal Achilles heel. He had been for a long, long time and would always be. Now Dean knew it too.

“Drop the halo on the rack and step inside the circle of pleasure.” Dean grinned, pleased with his own, lame joke and extending a hand, to grip the sleeve of Castiel’s trademark trench coat, as he slowly moved forward. “I promise it will be unforgettable.”

Naturally, Angels do not need to breathe so Castiel was surprised when he noted how he was holding back his breath as he stepped over the line of the circle. He let out a huff of air as he invaded Dean’s personal space, the latter grabbing him by the sleeve, and dragging him roughly into an intense and demanding yet gentle kiss that lasted longer than any human would have been capable of. And Dean was no longer human; he had to remind himself of that. But it was difficult – so difficult. He was finally kissing the man he had yearned for year after year, and it was almost impossible to see him as anything but Dean. His hunter! The human he saved from hell’s torture. He smelled like Dean, and when he moaned into the kiss, he sounded just like Castiel had imagined he would. Dean had Castiel in a firm grip by both trench coat lapels, and dragged him closer while tilting his head a bit, to get better access. And Castiel whimpered at that, and opened his mouth, giving Dean what he wanted. Castiel growled internally at his own weakness but did nothing to stop the course of action. This was what he wanted, this was the manifestation of his inner yearnings. The kiss was no longer gentle; it was rough and hurried. In fact, it was Dean trying to establish dominance – and Castiel could do nothing but provide.

Dean drew back a bit, just so he could get eye-contact. He searched Cas eyes for god-knows-what and then he smirked.

“What are we today, Cas? Angel or human? Or maybe angel-human? 

Castiel looked down, avoiding his gaze. No, he wasn’t human, he didn’t have that as an excuse to give in and follow his inner desires.

“I am an angel… for now..”

“Good,” Replied Dean. “Then you don’t mind me being a little rough, do you?”  
He smiled, and tilted Cas head back up in line with his green stare. 

‘I cannot deny him anything’, thought Cas. And maybe that was why Dean insisted on the eye-contact; he knew. And he used his knowledge to get what he wanted, once again.

But Castiel could not blame Dean for this. Yes, he was a demon but that was not the primary reason. In fact, the only one to blame for this was Cas himself; he was, ironically enough, not a saint. Deep down he knew Dean was touching a long lasting desire of his. He knew he had wanted to be able to control and dominate Dean from the beginning. Not all the time, just once in awhile or when he had been acting particularly cocky. But as the years went by and their relationship grew, he also found himself yearning for it the other way around. He also wanted to be dominated. Now he would finally get it.

He finally met Dean’s eyes, blue on green, angel and demon, and gave a faint nod: “Okay.”

The smile Dean returned was predatory. He dragged him back in for a long, bruising kiss, biting his lips hard, almost drawing blood. And Cas just groaned into his mouth, allowing it to happen, almost whimpering in defeat, when Deans mouth disappeared once more. 

“One more thing, my angel.” He purred, while Cas kept lingering on the ‘my angel’ - another reminder of how lost he was. “Since you like Dean so much, I will try to keep the shades off - keep my beautiful, princess eyes green,” He said mockingly. “But you gotta do something for me in return.” 

“Anything.” Whispered Cas, afraid that Dean was changing his mind now that he himself finally had come to terms with his wants. 

“Your clothes,” Dean said, dragging Castiel willingly in by his tie, “Is in the way and I need you to tell it to piss off.” Within a second, Castiel had wished it away, standing in front of Dean just as naked as him. Dean smiled again, a smile Castiel could not decipher, and then he turned Castiel and pushed him towards the chair in the middle of the demon trap. Castiel looked at the chair, swallowing nervously, as he turned around to face the biggest weakness of his entire life.


	3. Chapter 3

The situation was definitely a setback. A big setback. Not that she did not respect Castiel, she did, more than she had ever done. All the things he had taught her, all the things he had done, to create a better heaven - to inspire her to strive for a better heaven. Free will, that was something else. Castiel was a big inspiration, no matter what the other angels thought. What she did not get, and probably never would, was how he always came running back to Dean Winchester. She did not know what to think, when she learned that he was the Michael sword, and she did not know what to think either, when he turned into some sort of broken Michael sword, avoiding heavens orders. Yes, Castiel had taught her free will, so she could somewhat relate the choices of the Winchester human, but now… Accepting The Mark of Cain and turning into that broken shell of a human - half man, half demon - that was not free will that was…. Hannah’s thoughts trailed off. She looked out the window of Castiel’s car. More than two hours had passed since he went into that bunker. Hannah turned her body a bit to get a better look, but it was well hidden and didn't give much away. Castiel had asked her to stay, to wait for him, and she knew it could take a while. After all, it was about saving this precious human Castiel had sacrificed so much for; who he had sacrificed everything for and would continue to give up anything for. It was outside her comprehension, how Dean Winchester had influenced Castiel so much, and she was very curious as to the mechanism controlling their give- and demand relationship. She looked towards the bunker again. It was not that she was bored, angels did not get bored. There was just something there...  
Half an hour ago, a tall human - the brother - had left in a black car. She was not sure why. She hoped for Castiel and for the sake of their mission that everything went well - and quick. If Castiel had just given her a time indication, she would have known how long to expect and if it was time to step in and help. Castiel had not forbidden her to enter and help, but he had asked her to stay. She felt conflicted. She was not keen on helping Dean Winchester but if it helped Castiel, she was willing to make an exception. What if Castiel was in trouble? More than two hours was a long time after all. Not for an angel, but to check up on a conflicted human - could it really take that long? 

It took two hours, twelve minutes and seven seconds before she gave up on the pondering, pushed the door open and stepped out on the dirt path. Without further ado she made her way towards the bunker.

*  
The building was much bigger than anticipated. Clearly, it was an old building that might have been inhabited by many more people back in the days, but now it was deserted. She looked into the library, the kitchen and the other rooms but everything was surprisingly quiet. Hannah looked with great interest at everything she saw but avoided touching anything. Her search for life lead her downstairs, into a hall, and that was when she picked up the first noises. At first, she wasn’t sure how to describe it. It didn’t sound completely human, more animalistic than that and her curiosity got the better of her. It got louder, as she walked silently towards the source and finally stopped in front of a doorway, peering inside with interest.  
She didn’t know what she expected to see, or if she had expected anything at all. Yet seeing Dean, this remnant of a man, and more demon than he should be - naked - having intercourse with Castiel – also completely naked – on a chair, in the middle of a demon trap, was very surprising. She could see that Castiel was grasping the back of the chair, shoving back to meet every thrust from Dean and bending down in submission, whenever Dean pressed his hand down on his shoulders or his head. Clearly, Castiel was subjecting himself voluntarily, he was not affected by any Demon powers because of the trap. She knew how endorphins could affect the actions of a human, but angels - they were in control, and Castiel was still an angel, even on borrowed grace. Hannah felt conflicted, and she felt something else, something that caused her body to ache with restlessness and made her cheeks grow hot - was that what humans called uncomfortableness? She should probably leave, let Castiel finish his...business, but it was impossible to drag her eyes away from the joined, moving bodies, clearly lost in their own pleasure. They were in their own world, not sensing her presence, and their actions hypnotized her, rooting her to the ground. And when Dean gripped Castiel’s hair tightly, and thrust into him with huge force, she gasped in surprise and inched a bit closer. She would stay for another minute. Just one...


	4. Chapter 4

Dean knew she was there, even before she entered. He could sense her. He didn’t know if it was courtesy of The Mark, or his sharpened hunter senses, but something prickled on the back of his neck, and he knew they were being watched. He smirked. When she got closer, he knew it was Hannah. Sam would not be back so early, and who else would it be. Her presence also felt different from that of a human. He was not sure what the deal was between Castiel and Hannah, but he didn’t think Cas would be involved with her on other levels than platonic. Conversely, he still didn’t like her. Not only had she forced Cas to choose between him and the angels, which meant he lost an army, she was apparently also travelling around with him, using his precious time for her cause. In fact, she was keeping him away from Dean, and he didn’t like that. He loathed it. Castiel was his angel, and she could find another stupid, featherbrain to free ride on. Dick.

Dean looked down and saw how he was connected with Castiel, how his hip-movements pushed his cock in and out of Castiel - it was rough and dirty yet beautiful. Dean had not expected Cas to accept it so willingly, so fast - he had not expected him to give in at all, but he was thrilled by his submission. Clearly, Dean was still some sort of demon, but he could never avoid his feelings for the stupid angel in front of him. Feelings were feelings, stronger than most things he had ever encountered, and he had decided to succumb to them as soon as he became a demon. Becoming a demon had made him freer when it came to some things and his feelings for Castiel was one of them - he could finally give in, and it felt great. Now Castiel was truly his, heaven and hell had known for a long time - how come Hannah was being completely oblivious? He had to change that. 

Instead of causing a scene, trying to beat into her who Castiel belonged to, which would also be impossible due to the trap, he decided to show her. Actually, he would let Castiel show her. With words. Or to be fair; sounds.

Dean kept fucking Cas, holding a steady pace, and then moved one hand from Cas’ hips, gripping his hair, making him moan softly. 

“Dean…” he panted, in a broken yet wound up voice. Dean gripped his hair even tighter, yanking his head back and concurrently increasing the pace by which he was fucking into him. Dean felt smug as his angel emitted another moan, louder this time, and clutched the back of the chair even harder. Damn, his Cas liked it rough. He seemed to be full of surprises today. His Cas... 

Dean smirked. He knew Hannah hadn’t left and was still watching. He hoped she enjoyed the show and most importantly; got the message of this set-up. Dean would always be on top of this, and Cas would do anything he could to please him. Yes, Dean had feelings for the dark-haired angel, but Castiel was even more infected, even willing to give himself up to a demon. In the end Hannah would be left outside, relegated to looming backstage, and Dean rejoiced. 

“De-e-e-an.” Castiel whimpered loudly, in step with his thrusts and Dean was ripped from his line of thought. He grinned at the angel, grabbed him by both hips once more improving his leverage, and increased the pace once again. The legs of the chair were scraping along the floor, while Cas cried out one broken moan after the other, as Dean hit his g-spot repeatedly. His pace was ruthless, and it was better than he ever expected - both because Castiel was freaking hot and tight, but also because his angel was enjoying it as much as he was. He would not be able to keep this going for much longer. The sounds Castiel was making were divine and sinful at the same time, and the description made him smile in triumph. Hannah was still standing there, clearly lost in translation. Why had she not left by now? At the moment, pleasuring Castiel was his most important task, but who said he could not multitask? He needed to make sure Hannah got the memo, finally learning that Castiel was his, no matter what she would do to separate them. Castiel had to let her know, with more than noises. 

He drew back a bit, and let his hand fall hard down on one of Castiel’s ass-cheeks, before driving back in with all the power he could muster. Castiel groaned loudly in response, letting his head drop down between his shoulders. Dean smirked once more.

“You like this, huh angel?” Was his mocking response, and as Castiel tried to pant out an answer, Dean drew back once more, and landed a hard slap on the other side of his ass. Castiel whimpered in response. 

“Couldn’t hear you, feathers.” Said Dean, returning to a ruthless thrusting-speed. 

“Yes, -ah- Dean.” Groaned Castiel, eyes squeezed shut and mouth agape. Dean could feel himself getting dangerously close.

“You want this, angel?” He asked, emphasizing his words by slowing down for a few thrusts, and then increasing his speed quickly. 

“Wantyou…” Replied Cas, desperately trying to meet each of his thrusts. “I always w-ant you!” 

Surprised by the answer, Dean slowed down while loosening the grip on Castiel’s hips and ignoring his small, mewling protest. He quickly let his fingers travel up along the angels hot and wet back, running over his spine lightly. As he reached Castiel’s neck, he tangled his fingers in soft and damp hair - a gentle gesture in contrast to their raw passion moments ago.


	5. Chapter 5

Castiel let it happen, panting softly as Deans hand traveled all the way up to the top of his head, and then down, finding it’s way to one of his heated cheeks. He whimpered as Dean turned his head, bending forward to catch his lips in a slow, and sincere kiss. What had gotten into Dean? One minute he was cold, cocky and ruthless and the next moment, he was gentle and compassionate. 

“Dean?” He probed, clearly missing a step or two. 

“I love you, Cas. I always have.” Dean whispered against his lips. “Being a demon does not change that. It never will.” 

Castiel was confused for a second, still caught by lust with adrenaline searing through his body, but then his brain caught up. 

“Y-you..” He stuttered, staring wide-eyed at Dean. 

“Yeah,” Replied Dean, letting his hand wander from Cas cheek, to his hair and back down again in slow strokes. “And I mean it.” 

This time Cas was the one to learn forward, joining their lips with force and determination. He could feel Dean smile into the kiss, and even though their position was a little strained, a little awkward, there was nothing he would rather do than being in this exact moment - kissing Dean. Even though he knew this wasn’t perfect, and knew about all the cons and difficulties of opening up this can of feelings they shared for one another, he could not seem to stop himself, and it seemed like Dean felt the same. And if Castiel was honest with himself, he had been listening to his heart more often than not, ever since he dragged the soul of the man behind him, from the flames of hell - why should he stop now? Maybe Dean’s current state could actually teach him a bit about inhibitions, or how to make sure they did not play a too big role in life...

He drew back and felt his lips pull into a genuine smile - the first one in a long time.

“What is it, angel.” Purred Dean, slowly opening his eyes, bright green and amused. 

“I think you should move.” Said Cas, smiling widely and savoring the color of the eyes in front of him.

“Mkay, angel.” Said Dean, and slotted their lips together once more, as he began to move his hips. 

Cas returned the kiss, and let himself get lost in the sensations of Dean’s ministrations. It did not take long for them to finish; Cas first, effortlessly and without any intervention from neither of them. Then Dean followed, only a few seconds later, grunting hot in the nape of his neck, as Cas felt him spilling inside. Before he could catch his breath, Dean had his arms wrapped around him, dragging him off the chair and hugging him tightly, like he would never want him to leave. In fact, Cas thought, maybe he wouldn’t. Maybe he really wanted him by his side. And maybe Dean could read Cas’ thoughts, since he buried his nose in the nape of his neck again and held him even closer. 

Cas fingers found Dean’s and covered them, savored the feeling the ultimate closeness between him and the man he had given everything for. 

“I love you too, Dean.” He heard himself say, and he felt Dean smile into his neck. 

“I know, Cas,” Said Dean, and Cas lingered on how he, for the first time that afternoon, used his name instead of one of the many remarkable nicknames. Then it hit him; he did not only love Dean, he was truly in love with him, and had been for a very long time. The realization did not make him happy. 

“Dean,” Said Cas, while his happiness slowly crumbled and turned into dread, “I am afraid I cannot leave you like this.” 

To his surprise, Dean just smiled once more and nuzzled his nose into the soft strands of hair at the nape of his neck. “I know Cas, I know. You and Sam are just as stubborn as me.” 

Castiel was smiling again, but it was bittersweet. 

“Do you think…” He began, not daring to finish the sentence, as if saying it out loud would make it come true. 

But Dean understood, he understood his question where no one else would have. He sighed, and kissed his shoulder: 

“I don’t know, Cas,” He began, clearly searching deep within himself, to answer his question, “I really don’t know if I will accept ‘this’ as a human. I have struggled with it for many years, but human me fears both rejection and believes that he does not deserve anything that is good. You are good, too good for me, and I am afraid that 'human me' will crawl back in denial.”

“Okay,” said Cas softly, previous smile fading into a thin line, “I will of course respect that.” 

Castiel gave a short yelp, as Dean let go of his hold, and roughly turned him around by a tight grip on his shoulders. The two were once more staring at each other, green searching blue eyes, and Castiel found that he really couldn’t look away, ever. 

“Dean?”

“Promise you’ll try, Cas.” Said Dean in a soft tone, gripping him tightly by the shoulders. “Promise you’ll try to convince the pigheaded version of me that he deserves you - that we deserve each other.” 

Castiel was smiling again, a tiny, insecure grimace but still a smile: “Okay Dean, I promise.”


	6. Chapter 6

As soon as Sam returned to the bunker, he could tell something had changed. In fact, a lot had changed!  When he left, he noted Hannah, patiently waiting for Cas in his car, but as he returned, she was perched on top of the car with her back to him, in a state that looked like daydreaming. Strange.

However, that was not the strangest change he encountered, as he dragged a few bags of blood from the Impala and throughout the corridors of the bunker. No, the real and major change became evident as he entered the dungeon. At the surface, everything seemed normal; Dean sat in the chair in the middle of the demontrap, looking unamused, and Cas was standing over by one of the walls, wearing a sad expression. As Sam entered, he greeted him with a nod, but his demeanour did not change. Considering the situation, one could not expect anything different, but Sam knew both of the two idiots in front of him better than anyone, and he could tell something had been going on.

"I got the blood," he announced, waving the bags for Dean and Cas to see, and ignoring the elephant in the room for now, "and I think we should start immediately."

Castiel did not answer, but confirmed with a second nod. Dean just stared, patiently. And when Sam inserted the syringe into his arm, Dean did not fight it, he just unsuccessfully bit back pained groans. Sam could see, that this dose was clearly taking its toll on Dean, even though he tried not to let it show. As Dean was writhing in agony in his chair, he was hoping this would be the last time he had to do this. The last time he had to watch his brother suffer like this. He just wanted to finally get it over with, so he could go and get wasted. Then he looked over at Castiel's pale face, and decided he needed a talk with him beforehand. First: Man-to-angel talk, and then: get wasted. That was a plan. Goddamn idiots. If just Bobby had been here, he could have yelled some sense into their heads. Now he had to be the one to do it.

Dean finally fell silent, and his head fell forward. This was nothing new, he had behaved like that to all the other doses of blood, but is still hurt Sam to see Dean unconscious from pain.

"Cas," he said, waking him from whatever trance he had been in, "I need to talk to you." He gestured towards the hall, and Cas followed reluctantly. When the entered the hall, Castiel almost slumped against the wall, clearly defeated.

"Cas," Sam said again, this time gentler, "what happened while I was gone?"

Cas looked up at him, pain flickering over his expression while he was searching for a reply: "Are we really that obvious?" He said, clearly avoiding the question.

Had it been Dean, Sam would probably just have yelled something about stubbornness and stupidity, but this was Cas. He was so new to all this, trapped somewhere between being human and an angel, probably not knowing what to do at all. On top of that, he had to deal with the world's most stubborn and emotionally constipated idiot, and Sam felt he had to be patient with him. Also because he couldn't be patient with Dean any longer.   
  
"Yes Cas," replied Sam, "You are very obvious. I could see it as soon as I entered the room. Dean was not angry and snarky anymore, just passive, and you were not hopeful and determined, just sad and resigned. I don't want you to explain to me what happened, I can guess from the new position of the chair and your lack of tie, but I want to talk about what you're going to do about it."  
  
Castiel, who had kept his gaze, lowered his eyes, and stared at the floor again: "I don't know, Sam. I promised Dean I would not give up on him, when he became human again, but honestly, I don't know what to do..."

"Cas..." Sam said once more, waiting for him to look back up again, "...what you both have to do to solve this, is talk about your feelings. For most people it is not has hard, as you two - and especially Dean - make it seem. But you gotta tell him how you feel! Dean is in a permanent stage of self-degradation and lack of self-esteem, when it comes to your relationship. He does not believe he deserves you, and you got to tell him why he does and why you want to be with him. I know you both love each other, I have seen it several times during the past many years. You are so obvious that people who don't know you notice too. Doesn't it hurt to be that close but never close enough to the one you love? Seriously, you can have it! All you gotta do is tell him how you feel about him. It is really that simple."

As Sam talked, he witnessed how Cas' expression changed from hopeless, to hopeful and then to determined. Thank everything that was holy for Cas being Cas. If he had learned much more from Dean, this would have been a clear mission impossible.

"You are right Sam," Cas said, suddenly deep in thought, "As soon as he is human again, I will talk with him. Thank you."

Sam gave him a small, tired smile and turned around to reenter the dungeon, Cas slowly following in his heels. As soon as Sam entered, he could tell Dean was not unconscious anymore, but slowly stirring awake. He felt his fingers gripping tightly around his flask of holy water, ready for anything unexpected, and Cas drawing his angel blade behind him. But as Dean lifted his head, and his eyes changed from coal to the familiar green, Sam felt himself relax once more.  
  
"You look worried, fellas." Dean said, and Sam reacted by slashing holy water on him, with no effect.

Then Sam and Cas looked at each other at the same time, small smiles and hopes for the future shared wordlessly between them, as Dean stared confused from one to another.

  
  
**

 

Later, as Sam ran for food to his suddenly very hungry brother, Cas promised to go talk with Dean. Finally.

  
  
**

  
Much later, when Sam woke with a hangover pounding away on his skull, he reached for his phone, and found a text from Cas:  
  
_Talked with Dean, and told him to take time off since things are quit. He feels very guilty but when I told him 'I love you', it looked like he felt better. He wants to come help looking for my grace, I told him he could join when he has rested._  
  
_Thank you Sam,_

_\- Cas  
_

Sam found he couldn't detain a smile, and went to get painkillers and check in on his sleeping brother. Maybe things could get better after all.

 

**

 

That assumption was conformed, when he, three days later, found Dean in the kitchen, busy making pancakes and singing along to what sounded like Stairway To Heaven.

"How to you feel, Dean." He asked, despite knowing the answer.

Dean turned around and flashed him a convincing smile: "I am better Sammy, thanks. Making us pancakes, so we are stocked up on energy!"

Sam crossed his arms and leaned against the wall, an amused smile playing on his lips: "Uhu, and why do we need extra energy?" He probed.  
  
"Because we are gonna meet up with Cas," Dean replied, incredulously, like it was the most obvious thing in the world, "we are gonna help him find his grace! Did you forget about that?"  
  
"No no, of course not, Dean. Of course not."

Yeah, better was the right word.

**


End file.
